Figuring Stuff Out

I've been figuring some stuff out and it's feeling really good. I had a "mental" week last week... I got some info early in the week that shed a lot of light on a problem that I've had for going on 2 years now, and it led to a lot of emotional ups & downs while I processed & figured stuff out. In the end, I'm feeling soooo much better, but it led me to figure some other things out as well. For instance, my shoulders started knotting up about 2 weeks ago. I know it was stress related. No matter what, I could not get them to relax out. Then I went mental, and that exacerbated it. Finally, I gave up & went for my first real massage yesterday - it's worth the money to me to get it worked out & relaxed now before I have a 7 hour drive and a maybe stressful/maybe not weekend. Anyway, that worked out he kinks & loosened up my neck and it was wonderful, but today I am noticing that my shoulders are so used to being knotted up that they are trying to revert to that. I'm having to fight my own body today and it's very weird. I keep noticing my shoulders wanting to hunch up near my ears and etc.... Secondly, I discovered, or made the connection rather, that my worst "Mental" days the past month have been days where I am excruciatingly tired. I KNOW I don't handle lack of sleep well... If I stay up too late I get psycho & depressed. Cast parties in Highschool, while theoretically fun, were when I usually scared myself the most by getting into unreasonable paranoias and depression. Needless to say that when I put 2 and 2 together, it made a whole BUNCH of sense that my "depressed" feeling days were when I had gone too long without good sleep. The result of this realization is that I've set myself a goal of trying to get at least 7.5 hours of sleep a night. It's a mid-year resolution? Well, anyway, out of the past 3 days, I've succeeded twice in 3 nights. Not too bad to start.... AND I've been feeling GREAT!!! (even though the weather's sucked & been rainy & I think I'm starting to get mouldy...) If all I need to do to be happier & healthier is to eat better and sleep enough, well DAMN!

Ah, lastly, Joy-of-joys! I can finally have that Peanut Butter Milkshake!!!!!!!!!! I made & have maintained my goal weight for at least a week! Woot! I will officially stop dieting now. I will still track what I eat to manage and maintain what I've done. I will be doing more Rock Climbing soon and keeping up with my running hopefully, so if you see me getting any skinnier from this point (doubtful), it'll only be due to toning. Well, Cheers, everyone!