Cat-a-tonic

I've not been sleeping 100% well lately. I find myself stretching in my sleep - a friend came up with a good analogy: like a cat does. That's it. Just like a cat or dog.... I'm sleeping and then I fully extend everything as far away from my body as possible, get a good stretch, roll over & go back to sleep. I wouldn't much mind since it feels good, but I keep waking myself up by doing this several times a night. I wonder why. Am I turning into a cat? If so, will I be allergic to myself? Is that why I've been sniffling? Or is that because my Autumn Allergies are starting up?...

Oh, and I really can't wait for the Run Like Hell 5K in Cincinnati (Oct.30)!!! Should be fun! and tomorrow I will be starting to make headway on my fairy costume. Goodie. I've decided to be a woodland fairy because A) it'll be fun & artistic to make in a manner that it looks beautiful & dramatic as I run, B) I can use it for the MD Renaissance Faire, C) since I've taken to the trees & woods with my running, it seems very fitting - plus, it'll be a hoot to do my RLH dress rehearsal practice runs through the woods with the other joggers/walkers thinking I'm nuts. : ) Yay!

Barefoot & hopeless... let's go back to the drawing board.

Yesterday, after figuring that I'd better get a biomechanical check-up (aka chiropractic visit to see if everything's in the right place) before I continue to embark upon a total movement regimen, I went to my Chiro. In addition to the normal re-evaluation, I had them do another foot scan. I know my toes are stronger and I'm able to support myself climbing in VFFs where I wasn't able to two years ago. I also know my ankles are stronger because it took 4.25 miles on semi-rough terrain to get the same old ankle soreness that I got when I started running. As a result, I was hoping I'd see some sort of empirically significant change in my foot structure. Judging from the scans, I'd like to think I see some slight, slight improvement, but I'd have to say it appears to be a wash. There was a pretty colored pressure depiction too, and if you go by that, I've totally slid backward and become completely flat footed, but there is not enough difference between the two scans to validate that, so I'm prone to thinking something in the calibration is off.

This got me to thinking though... the arguments for barefoot training being pro-foot-muscle frequently have to do with the nerves and touch receptors (or whatever you want to call them) in the bottom of the foot reacting to the things you are stepping on and then triggering a muscle response to pull that portion of your tender little footsie away from the sharp rock. I wonder if, while running in my VFFs, I've strengthened my toes and ankles, but not gotten as much benefit in the foot because the sole of the VFFs dampen a lot of the sharp pointy things that I step on. Walking on gravel in VFFs is DEFINITELY more pleasant than in true bare feet. I think I see another experiment in which to use myself as a guinea pig!

Part of this all is that I am a scientist. The concepts and theories behind the arguments pro-bare feet make sense to me in physical and biomechanical sense. I really want some solid evidence to back it up though. I'd like to have a before and after to support my statements of "I believe this to be better for my body." Guess I'm off to go play in some gravel without shoes.... tomorrow... or the next day. Today I just want to run through the woods with abandon again. : )

Trails, Trials and a new Recipe

Right, so on September 5, I ran in the Arlington Pentagon 9/11 Memorial 5K. I signed up for it with my friend Adi - I told him I would last year. It sounded fun because you finish the early evening race and get a medal, beer & pizza. For two weeks before the race, I went out 2 or 3 times a week to get "back in shape." Two days before the race, I ran a full 3.1 mi. route in a reasonable time and was very happy. It was easy. I showed up at the race, I had a light lunch/ afternoon snack of almonds and carrots and tomato and red peppers and cucumbers and yellow squash... all the good stuff. Lined up, feeling good.... after the first 1.5 mi, I was feeling lousey.... not physically, but mentally. I hated the fool who was standing 60 feet past the starting line telling me we were "almost there, almost done" - I don't care that he was doing it as a joke. I hated the people around me, I hated the route, it was hot (80 degrees, 54% humidity) and sticky... ugh. Then we turned into the last 1.25 mi. It was through a parking lot. With no moving air. Facing into the setting sun. My brain gave out. I walked for 20 feet. jogged some more, walked for 20 feet, jogged, walked & stripped down to my running bra, jogged and finished it out with a ginormous grimace and the feeling that I wanted to throttle someone. I lumbered off grumbling for some pizza and leftover veggies.

Not a triumphant moment. Then I started thinking about it. whether I keep going or not is all mental. I know at this point that I prefer woods running to urban running. After that race, I decided to set my sights on distance running and working my way up to trails. The following Friday I went and decided to try running the Loop around Lake Accotink. It's 3.8 mi round trip, mostly through trees, with a smooth, clean, gravel/dirt trail. This plan was inherently a bad idea. I had spent the day running around in platform knee boots with a 3.25 inch heel. If you've worn heels, you can do the math... if you haven't... well, by the end of the day your foot muscles have partially atrophied and frozen into the shape of the shoe, it's hard to put your heel down flat because your Achilles is all tight, and probably you've partially bruised the ball of your foot from the abuse of the shoes. So I get home from work, kick my boots off, change, hop into my Fivefingers and drive to the lake. Anyone not familiar with barefooting should be told that to do it properly, you need to have your whole foot relaxed to flex with the terrain and absorb the rocks & bumps properly. Uh... yeah... I take off... the trail's rougher than the normal asphalt, about 1.25 mi in, I'm feeling good, except the balls of my feet are tender. I step wrong on a large stone on my left foot and add a good beating to my already tender left foot. Ow. I keep going, but now I'm favoring that foot. after the turn around at 1.5 (the sun's going down so I nix the idea of doing a full loop), the favoring of the left foot has been throwing off my mechanics, so a stabilizing tendon in my left knee is starting to get angry with me. Also, my stomach is cramping for some odd reason, and I'm getting overheated - argh! In a race this would make me stop. In the woods, I was still smiling and having a helluva lotta fun and kept going, albeit being more careful how I planted my left foot. I finished a full 3 miles back to the car, it felt like I had only been out for 15 minutes, and I was singing with the radio on the way home. That's it. I'm only going to do trail running from now on.

Today I went out to Accotink again and did the whole 3.8... finished it in 39:15. It certainly didn't feel like 40 minutes. I didn't feel done when I stopped. J was doing the south-west half of the lake only, so I passed him on my way around. He hadn't come out of the woods yet, so I ran back to find him, then ran back with him & did a cool down walk. totalled out at 4.25 miles and felt like I probably could have gone farther if I didn't have other things to do. : ) I'm pretty happy. I need to find a bigger loop to work on and soon I need to start making little forays off the groomed trail onto some of the hiking trails that shoot off to the sides... I need to get some of my ankle muscles stronger - the ones that control lateral stability. They're just a little sore at the moment. I recognize this from when I first started running.... they're not used to being used quite that much. They're a lot stronger than they were two years ago, though, that's for sure! So yeah, apparently trails and woods make me happy & I'll just have to stick to that. I always come out of there feeling like I could take on the world. Accotink also looked like it had good opportunities to practice some of my MovNat stuff if I get off the beaten path, so I can't wait to try it. Whee!

Also, yesterday was International Talk Like a Pirate Day! I hope you all participated... I spent most of the day running around trying to find a good pirate hat.
AAAAaaaarrrrrr! to ye!

As promised, here's a new recipe for a side dish that I made up while trying to finish most of the leftover veggies in the fridge:

Eggplant Side

3 mini-eggplant thinly sliced (~1/4 thick, tops), or equivalent large EP
1 stalk heart of palm sliced like EP
~2 Tbsp. minced garlic
~2 Tbsp coconut oil
Copious amounts of cinnamon reasonable dusting across whole pan twice
~1 Tbsp lemongrass herb paste (may be able to sub lemon juice)
~ sauteing eggplant, heart of palm, garlic, cinnamon & lemon grass paste in coconut oil ( in lieu of CO, maybe just butter and then add a bit of shredded coconut for flavor), after a few minutes, added a bit of water & covered the frying pan to add some steaming... cooked until eggplant melted in your mouth (15-20 mins). Taste. Add more cinnamon if necessary, add in maple syrup, stir, & add a bit of spinach at the very end - cooked just long enough to wilt. This served two.

By mini-eggplant, I used these:

Causal Fridays and Barefoot v. Minimal Shoes

Ok, so I just had a total geek-out on my way up the elevator this morning... Today is Friday - for many, Casual Friday. How easy it is to switch letters and change the meanings of words.... Then I thought: "If you just shift the U, Casual turns into Causal. What would 'Causal Friday' be like?" I hope J doesn't read this otherwise he might be ashamed to know me. ; )

Also, I gave some thought this morning to barefooting some more... I mean, I'm sure you all know that I run pseudo-barefoot in my Vibram FiveFingers, but I've eschewed shoes for as long as I can remember. Indoors? barefoot. Running around outside playing as a kid? barefoot as much as I could get away with. Heck, I've always preferred to buy shoes such that I can at least slightly feel the cracks in the sidewalk when I'm walking. It feels weird to me otherwise. So since I've started running around in the FiveFingers more & more, I've been feeling it in my joints when I go back to 'regular' shoes. I feel the shift in my joints and alignment. Or rather, I'm aware of them... Odd. as a result I am now trying to buy my shoes with as flat and thin a sole as possible and as flexible or roomy as possible (It totally goes against all financial sense to pay for as little as possible...) The thing that is intriguing me right now is that even in minimalist shoes, I do not ambulate in the same manner. Barefoot or in my VFFs, I walk lightly and lead with my toes, touching down the forefoot or midfoot first and then compress into my heel. With my minimalist flats, I still find myself landing on my heel and it feels very awkward to try and walk in a different manner in them. I need to ponder if it's because my brain has been "programmed" for so long to walk in a particular manner with shoes on (then one would think it'd translate to the VFFs also) or is it more that the construction of the shoes does not lend itself well to having a natural gait while keeping the shoes on my feet? I need to go contemplate.

Another random thought for the day: I passed a car on the highway yesterday that had 3 wheels - one in front, two in back. Sorry, I did not have my camera for once. It looked brand new. It had a curved windshield, sides, looked like a 2 seater, was TINY, had a normal steering wheel, and a roll bar. It appeared to be a convertible with the top down. Anyone know what that was? I tried to check out the make & model while driving by, but the words were all long, in tiny print, and a script-ish font. What kind of marketing sense does that make????

MovNat Seminar Recap

So, I've been getting a lot of questions (and rightly so) about what is this "Mov- NAT" thingie that I went to. If you'd like the official stuff about it, feel free to go visit the MovNat website. Make sure to watch the Erwan Le Corre video on YouTube also. It's cool.



So, if you want the really short, bare-bones answer, here's what I learned: barefoot movement & conditioning, running, jumping, landing, crawling, rolling, balancing, accuracy, agility, breathing, hanging, climbing, swimming, holding of breath, throwing sticks, throwing rocks, lifting, carrying, using gravity to one's advantage and overall efficiency of movement, some morsels of diet - paleo in specific, sparring, punching, self defense and that I'm a scary, scary woman if threatened. Really if I break most of those down into the subcategories of movement that I haven't named specifically, it's mind-boggling that the seminar was only over 5 days, more like 4 days when two of those were half-days... Really, I'm not quite sure how it all happened because it felt like we only did 2 or 3 things a day (this, said through rose colored glasses, since I can remember spending some days where I was just wishing for it to end).



For more of a detailed description of the experience, read on... and on... and on... (I don't see how it can end up short & concise).



Background

I have to admit that I don't fully follow all the "zoo human" philosophy on the website, or maybe I do, but phrased in a different manner. What I do know is that I feel people in general are dealing with a nature defficiency (myself especially - I go nuts if I don't get enough exposure to rocks & trees & water & stuff), and I feel like our modern western lifestyle is not conducive to health, wellness & mobility over our ever-increasing lifetimes. By talking biomechanics with my chiropractor & others and by reading & researching, I've been becoming fascinated with how our body works and have begun developing a theory, that I'd love to work with some day, that our life-long mobility and ability is determined by the movements we use in our everyday lives. The western world is suffering from some chronic pain issues and mobility issues that are not seen in some other cultures at later stages in life. Keep in mind that I'm not discounting the lack of elasticity in tendons and ligaments that come with age as well as breakdown of cartilage, wear of joints, etc.... BUT a number of mobility problems appear to be preventable either due to avoiding misalignments caused by imbalances caused by lack of use of muscles or by avoiding injury by using proper techniques and keeping critical joints strong and flexible. This is merely a quickie aside...



How it came about

Anyway, so let's start at the beginning of how I impulsively signed up for this thing. Please see the statement above about the mobility mind-set that I'm in at the moment. So for the past two years I've been mildly intrigued by Methode Naturelle and Parkour. Additionally, I've been trying to broaden my exercise regimen to strengthen and expand my abilities (both because I'm all dooms-day-ish and believe that I could get stuck in some catastrophic situation sometime, and because I'd like to still be able to get up off the floor when I'm 80 - "help, I've fallen and I can't get up" should not enter my vocabulary unless to make a joke or in an instance where both legs are broken). In June or July, I try to find something to use my HTO gift-card on and come out of the store with a FREE copy of Blue Ridge Outdoors Magazine and read this article about the Natural Fitness with an "annoyingly fit" man. It's a great article. So I googled MovNat. I watched the YouTube Video. Then I watched it again. And again. And AGAIN. It turned into one of those obsessive things I do such that I was researching or going to the MovNat page everytime I needed an ADHD break at work (i.e. every 10 minutes). Lastly I saw that they were going to be offering seminars in West Virginia in August & September. Then I got more & more distracted. At some point, the irrational part of my brain went AWOL & said "if you don't sign up for this & try it, you'll always be wondering & regret it." This led to an "are there still any available spaces left?" email, with the expectation of the answer "no". I got the answer: "there's one spot left and we've pencilled your name in if you want it." EGADS! What have I gotten myself into. It's one of those weird things that seemed to be 'fate.' We discussed it at home, I paid, it was all set, I was very excited. Then the "you're crazy" part of my brain kicked in & I started fretting about the cost & what a Paleo Diet was (raw meat?) and vacation time and holding the rest of the class back and killing myself and.... If there's one thing I'm an expert at, it's fretting - especially about the various possible ways for me to meet my demise. Well, anyway, that's how I got signed up for it and there was no turning back after hitting the "pay" button. * sigh *



And so it begins...

Tuesday, August 18, sees me departing a little after 7 AM on my drive to West Virginia. After a 5.5 hour car ride in which I stock up on doritos & a rootbeer (I will be eating Paleo for the next five days! augh!), I arrive at the campsite and find a collection of tents and one or two other people there. Tents -> Ozark Trail, first thought -> "egads, I wish I brought my own tent, this sucker's gonna leak". I spend some time talking to my first co-conspirator, James, a "kid" who's in college and is studying Physics - suddenly I don't feel like I'll be totally out of my element. After a bit of chatting, we decide to go see if Jeff, the assistant, needs any help with lunch. This is when I meet co-conspirator #2, Chris, the first of two Canadians and who drove down from Montreal the night before. I'm betting that was longer than 5.5 hours. Part way through chopping red peppers, we were joined by the other Canadian, Greg, an ex-air force instructor, Jason, and the man himself, Erwan Le Corre. In response to me saying "Oh, you're THE man!", he replied: "What were you expecting, a Zeus?" My reaction was not because he was very average looking, but because I had not been able to ascertain via the website, really what he looked like. A little bit later, we were joined by the last participant, a woman named Liz. It was a cozy little group. I had been expecting something different. The listing had said there would be 12 participants and we ended up with only 6. I had been expecting most everyone else to be fitness professionals and we numbered as a physics student, a patent examiner, a freelance journalist, a mediator, a finance guy, and a program manger. Hmm.... we each had a different level of fitness and abilities too, as was determined over the next couple of days. The first meal was a phenomenal salad of greens, peppers, nuts, oils & vinegar and I think some meat & fruit. Our first lesson was conditioning for barefoot movement - i.e. finding the sharpest gravel on the campsite road and purposely standing on it... "It's like a Chinese massage," says Erwan. Hmmm... Then we went to a local park with playgrounds & pavilions to see that MovNat can be practiced anywhere. I'd say we spend about 4 hours learning some basics, like balancing, jumping off picnic tables, walking on all fours, barefoot running and some warm-up moves. Part of it, I suspect, was for evaluating each of our ability levels. I successfully demonstrated that my Klutz Factor is abysmally high as I was 'balancing' across the wooden backstop to a horseshoe pit and managed to simultaneously fall off of AND onto the 'balance beam', leaving a gash in my leg that will be my souvenir! : )

I should have gotten a prize for "first blood." That night finished with a leisure swim in Summersville Lake, an amazing Paleo Dinner of more salad, veggies, steaks, and a dessert of coconut milk-banana-blueberry-bliss - I could get used to that. Did I mention that Erwan is originally French and oversaw all the meal prep? You can do the math on that one... Mmmm...

Day two involved a warm-up on a steep grassy slope of the campground, just below a couple of RV pads. We spent a significant amount of time learning about stretching and warming up by using practical movements that exercise full range of motion instead of just one piece at a time. Emphasis was put on the difference between motion in context (actually going over or under something), and without context (just going through a motion) and how each action without context can be given context in your mind to give it more meaning. We did a good bit of rolling around in the grass and crawling and then some stretches that were motions one would use if one were trying to hide in grass from predators or prey. The people staying in the RVs seemed to be highly amused by all this. I like to think that when we were practicing looking around furtively and hiding that the RV campers got nervous about an impending attack, because they left shortly thereafter. They also left us a large watermelon as a peace offering. After warming up, we went off into the forest and carried some long logs to our workout site. It was at this time that I re-discovered my 'true nature' of being completely distracted by the things around me... "look! a red mushroom! Look at that flower! Look! That part of the tree looks like a face! We just squashed a blue fungus of some sort..." Either way, I followed along balancing on logs, doing standing long-jumps, jumping off of logs, learning how to properly dead-lift stones above our heads and throw them. About mid-day, the assistant, Jeff, showed up with lunch - a bag of walnuts, a bag of almonds, some bananas and grapes, and a 9x13 Tupperware of chopped zucchini, carrots, peppers, and tomatoes. That was it. I was skeptical, but I followed the suggestion of "just eat what you want, your body will tell you what it needs." I've never tasted almonds so good. The rest of the day, was some more practice of skills and combining skills into a "combo circuit" that was repeated over and over for 15 minutes. Things I learned from combo: I need to have a goal or purpose and then I can enjoy repetitive things. My goal was throwing a rock, chasing it, picking it up, throwing it, and chasing it again. I wonder why I'm so "play" based... the 15 minutes felt like 5.

Day three was spent on the Gauley River and it was, by far, the most fantastic day of the seminar. It was the only truly sunny day we had all week for one thing. Thankfully I started the morning by explaining to Erwan that if I look like I'm not paying any attention whatsoever, I really am and don't mind me - I used to drive my teachers nuts with that. Secondly, though a river setting, there was a variety of terrains, from beach to dirty, to boulders to large flatrocks to rocky flat terrain. I was in heaven. It's a landscape that I've kind of grown up with and love dearly. The first lesson of the day was to walk barefoot across rocky terrain without really looking where you're going. Quite hard, really. I'm apparently way too stiff & have to relax my shoulders. We stopped for a swim, swam onto some rocks in the middle of the river, practiced breathing and holding of breath. Then we played cooperative 'games' of toss the rock & toss the stick and toss the stick while running around obstacles and toss the stick while balancing on a log. Next we stopped for lunch on a large flatrock complex and then practiced jumping up ledges and down ledges and across gaping chasms. We found a funky tree to balance on and that was fun, then we found a rather good Bouldering problem and scaled it. I scaled it 4 or 5 times just because. It was my first real, outdoor climbing!!! Yay! We finished with another swim and practice pushing a log across the river while swimming. I dripped dry while doing another climb. It was a great day.

Day three is also the only day I have pictures of essentially.

Day four is when I finally fell apart. I was not having the issues that some other people had - some of the guys were light sleepers and/or not used to being in the woods and hadn't been sleeping much at all. I come from a breed that A) grew up camping and B) have a family history of being able to sleep through train derailments. Sleep was NOT an issue for me. Except that night it rained a goodly bit and 1/3 of my air mattress and bedding got wet. Additionally, they started the day off by saying "OK, now today is going to be pretty intense!" That is the LAST thing I ever want to hear. We went back to the playground/park and warmed up with some out of context stretching and brief bursts of high intensity motion. Then we started learning self-defense and sparring techniques. This is where I discovered that I could cause damage if threatened. We were to practice protecting our heads. With the technique we learned, one could not only parry blows, but also fight back a bit with one's elbows. So we paired up and Chris was put in a position of 'attacking' while I was to defend myself. well, after a a few minutes i had to call a time out because my mind was getting into it and all of a sudden he was not my friend anymore, but a real attacker and I was about to leap & try to rip his head off... I kinda knew I had this in me, I felt it coming on, so I called a time-out. This combined with the 'rage' I exhibited when I was instructed to "hate the target" while Greg was holding it, resulted in me being labelled both 'scary' and 'dangerous' by the guys later. The latter half of the day, as promised, was filled with a smattering of intensity workouts.... series of intense bursts of conditioning, some fast combos and etc. In the midst of all this, it poured buckets on us on and off and when it wasn't raining on us, we were rolling around in soaked, muddy grass. The best part was when we were walking back from the restrooms to the playground. We passed a ginormous puddle on the sidewalk that was 2-3 inches deep. We stopped, we stomped, we kicked water on each other as if none of us were over the age of 15. It was great!!! Then there was another combo set up... theoretically it was nothing to be worried about... balance on a railroad tie for about 30-40 feet, go up a ladder, slide down a slide, run across the playground, duck under a bar, do 5 jump-pull-ups, jump off the steps 3 times and repeat. For some reason, before we started, I started feeling ill. I recognized the feeling from the one and only swim meet that I ever participated in. I hated the pressure & competition. I don't know why I felt that way on the combo, but whatever. The last thing we did was a longer combo... run to a tree, run to the bathrooms, do a small combo from earlier, run to the swings, run back to the bathroom, run to the playground, do the big combo, and then run back to the tree. The end. I started, I did half of it, between the swings & the bathroom I started having trouble breathing... It got worse! A freakin' anxiety/asthma attack! I got soooooo mad! It made it worse. I had to stop, I calmed down by the time I got to the top of the slide. By the bottom of the slide, I was OK, but I ended up being the last one to finish the route. I was sooo mad and pissed. There was no reason for it except a mental breakdown or will. ugh.

Day Five was the final day and it was a half-day only. We lost one of the participants in the morning at breakfast because she had a plane to catch. This is the last picture of us all before we parted:

We took a whitewater style raft across Summersville Lake to an island or peninsula which had a good collection of rocks. On the way, we worked on swimming and swimming under things while holding breath. We worked on accuracy of rock tossing. We also worked on various high-intensity series of lifting & pushups & etc. It was hard, but I knew it wasn't going to last long. The last thing before paddling back was a series of balancing along a wet log, jumping into the water, swimming under it, running back to the other end & repeat. One thing I liked very much about Erwan's instruction was that he got a good sense of each person and knew when to push you... literally. My first circuit, I got onto the log & froze.... Erwan pushed me off into the water. The next time around I went across the wet log with no problem. I don't know if I needed the push as a challenge or to show me that no harm would come by falling off... or maybe both, but I needed to be pushed off. Lastly, we rowed back while Jason & Jeff swam across the lake and finished up with lunch & said goodbye.

The Aftermath...

There were a couple of surprising results after all was said & done. For one thing, by being "Paleo" for a week has given me a particular aversion to "food products" (i.e. processed foods) - this I can only see as being a good thing. I've been doing some research on Coconut oil because, at least at first glance, it appears to potentially be a miracle food. I've also paid more attention to the things I buy.... the fewer ingredients the better.... whole raw nuts, sun dried raisins, no sugar or sulfates or salt added. I'm seeking more fruits & vegetables (again) and less grain products. The grains - breads, & etc - I'm noticing making me feel even more sluggish and uncomfortable than ever before. Actually, right after getting back and going back to a "normal" diet, I got a weird rash on my lower back and both my elbows. A lot of other weird things were going on too, like my leg swelling due to the wound getting infected, but the rash is making me think perchance I should look into Celiacs.... I'm not really sure I'd want to know though. Can you really enjoy a piece of cake with the knowledge that it could kill you?

In addition to diet changes, I was shocked to find that I DIDN'T come away from the experience sore & immobile. Just goes to show you that your body can adapt rather quickly. Also, I found I was able to do a goodly bit more than I had expected. I got kudos points for at least trying stuff even if I couldn't do it. I was known as having a "fighting spirit" by the end and that made me feel good. I also learned a lot about myself - how I work mentally. Competition, big surprise, is my downfall. I am best motivated when I want to do it for myself. I found that I had to fight an urge the first day to "prove myself" to the guys. They never said anything other than encouraging things. There were no disparaging remarks, no talking down, nothing but brotherly encouragement, yet I still felt like I had to prove-down the stereotype of "weak woman" and I found that this was mostly in my head, not theirs. I ended up coming up with a new personal motto, "I can't right now, but I can certainly try"... Huh? Meaning that I know my limits, but that won't stop me from trying until I can, whether it takes me hours, days or months, because I know that I can do most anything if I work on it. I also learned that when threatened or pushed, something else kicks in. I'm by no means going to throw caution to the wind and subject myself to danger, but I got reassurance that if I ever had to protect myself, I could either do a good job of it, or take someone else down with me.

Well, I guess that's all for right now... I think I'm on the verge of having bleeding stumps for fingers from typing so much. I'll write more later if I think of more.

Odd aside for the day: Spellcheck on here doesn't like 'egads'.... Tee-Hee!